Tony and I met with a financial advisor today. He was recommended to us by our tax guy. The fact that we have a tax guy, someone we pay to do our taxes, makes me feel more grown-up than the fact that I have a mortgage. Or kids.

But I digress. It was a very boring meeting, and he used a lot of jargon I didn’t understand, but it seemed important that I attend, and look, shall we say, present. So I tried. Good student that I am, I started to take notes. But it’s hard to take notes on information you don’t entirely comprehend. So then I started jotting down ideas for my next column. Then I tuned in to the meeting again and started writing down the sports metaphors he used. I wish I’d done this from the beginning, so that I could offer you a complete list, but he did pretty well in the last half hour:

That’s our bogey…

We won’t try to swing for the fences…

It does you no good to have a roller coaster ride…

We wade into the pool, we don’t dive in the deep end…

We’ll keep these positions covered…

We’re meeting another such person next week; will it be sports metaphors again? Can we choose an advisor based on their figurative language?